The most challenging things can be the most rewarding
We understood that having high difficulty is just one way to provide an intense feeling of accomplishment through preparing strategies, overcoming obstacles, and discovering new things. -Hitedataka Miyezaki, FromSoftware
In a typical video game, there a three difficulty levels easy, medium, and hard. In a Souls game (series of games made by FromSofttware) theres only one difficulty: F*** you.
Why? Here a couple reasons.
This singular level of challenge is not merely a gimmick. It is a deliberate design choice that yields profound rewards. The arduous tasks, the seemingly insurmountable obstacles, force players to adapt, to learn from their mistakes, and to develop a deep understanding of the game's mechanics. The satisfaction that comes from overcoming such challenges is unparalleled. It is a triumph of skill, perseverance, and a touch of luck.
By focusing on a single difficulty level, game designers are freed from the constraints of balancing multiple modes. They can devote their energies to crafting intricate enemies, stunning environments, and unique weapons. The result is a more immersive and rewarding experience for those who are willing to embrace the challenge.
However, it is important to acknowledge that this extreme level of difficulty is not for everyone. The Souls games appeal to a specific audience, those who relish the thrill of overcoming seemingly impossible odds. For others, the relentless punishment can be frustrating and discouraging. It is a double-edged sword, offering immense satisfaction to some while alienating others.
Relationship hard mode
In the book, I introduce polyamory and ethical non-monogamy (ENM) as an antifragile relationship style. Another way to look at it is they are relationship hard mode: not for everybody but can be rewarding to those willing to struggle it out. Briefly, here are 3 similarities:
requires time, effort & resources
can be very rewarding
not for everybody
Off the top of my head, here are 3 challenges when choosing a polyamory and ENM relationship style.
Effort 1. Maintaining a successful relationship with a single romantic partner requires a significant investment of time, effort, and resources. It is a delicate balancing act that demands constant attention, compromise, and a willingness to adapt. Now, imagine the complexity of navigating such a relationship with multiple partners. Image the amoubt of self-awareness, emotial control, and communication needed to nsvigate simultaneous multiple romantic partners. The emotional and psychological demands are significantly increased to day the least.
Effort 2. Polyamory and ethical non-monogamy necessitate a profound understanding of one's own emotions, boundaries, and desires. It requires a level of self-awareness that is often challenging to achieve. Additionally, navigating the intricacies of multiple relationships can be emotionally taxing, making therapy an invaluable tool for many. This, in turn, requires a significant investment of time and financial resources.
Effort 3. Time management is a crucial skill for those who choose to embrace polyamory or ethical non-monogamy. Juggling multiple relationships requires careful planning, effective communication, and a willingness to prioritize. It is a delicate dance that demands a deep understanding of one's own limitations and the ability to set boundaries.
Is the juice worth the squeeze?
In this case, everyone has to determine the answer for themselves.
I discuss the rewards in the book. Here’s one I knew about but this video made in concrete: free time. This also relates to population collapse, because it can solve the predicament of women not having time for growing both career and famiy.
In a supportive community, you don’t have to be everything to everybody! There’s more than one helping hand. In this Instagram post, author & relationship expert Kenya K Stevens drives the point home.
Similarly, FromSoftware’s recent game Elden Ring, gives player’s the ability to find ways (equiment, spells, etc) to easily defeat foes if they’re willing to learn from others and explore. Talk about being OP. LOL
TLDR: The most challenging endeavors can be very rewarding, Souls games and polyamory & ENM are two examples. One of the rewards of a polyamory relationship is you can also free up a lot time and energy! They're not for everybody
